| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2009|11:37 am] |
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I wish a huge rock of 'realization' would knock my family upside the head and realize what they are doing to themselves. I wish for one my sister would grow up and quit being so damn distant to everyone but her friends. Second, i wish my brother would have more guidance, he's just now getting into that 'age' and that 'age' is still very young. And last, i wish my parents would get over their drama and just live to be happy. Over all, i miss my old family. This new family, 'disguised' as uncaring and self absorbed, isn't cutting it for me. If i got up and left for Ohio with Adam tomorrow, I'm not sure how much I'd miss. Would i miss the drama? The lack of willingness to be around each other? Or simply listening to everyone judging them for what they are now? I am pretty sure I'd live much happier than listening to and about it all. I miss the days where we all went to church and were involved. But now it's as if i can only get 1 out of the 5 to go with us and that's every blue moon. There's always a party, work, or something 'better' than simply just setting just 1 day out of their oh so busy schedules. The past year i have been in denial hoping and praying they would all individually get better. Individually is the word here even though a family doesn't work that way. A family includes EVERYONE, but that's how desperate i am to getting the disguise off and get them individually caring again. My family may not ever be the same again, but i can at least ask that they start caring about themselves and more importantly about each other again. I wish Adam would have respect for them like he should, but again have they given him a reason? I would go with no. And as much as i hate to admit it, I've lost a large amount of respect for them as well. As i watch them deteriorate, i have my own family to raise and watch grow, and i pray everyday to not have the life for them that i do now concerning divorce and carelessness. I guess all i can do now is just sit and wait, pray, and watch. Same thing i've been doing the whole year, but what else can i do? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2009|05:08 am] |
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So today Adam and i get to meet our son. :) I am getting induced at Memorial Hospital this morning (freakin 5:45) and am hoping for the best today. Regardless my journey these past 10 months is coming down to an end and what we have been waiting here will actually BE HERE by the end of today :) Please pray for us that everything goes smooth and safe. It will definitely be a long day! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|12:36 pm] |
I've come to realize that there is nothing i can do to fix my family. They are too self absorbed right now and are no longer looking out for eachother's best interest. I guess all i can really do is keep praying and wait. I couldn't help but think of this song. Its from the movie Fireproof which is amazing, and it is now on my myspace if you'd like to hear it.
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2009|10:21 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | John Waller | ] |
As much as the whole pregnancy has been a cakewalk, its getting tough now. But i am in the long stretch, "the last 250 meters" as Adam likes to say. Only 3 weeks left til i get to meet my son. It's weird to think how close i am to watching him grow, rather than watching ME grow. I will miss him being so close though but am more than ready for him to be here. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2008|10:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Moive my dad and Adam are watching in the other room | ] |
I am so ready for 2009 and everything it brings. It is going to be a crazy year with my new son, School, Moving into a new home, Rowing, and everything else 2009 has in store. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2008|04:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
So we found out today that we are having a baby BOYYYYY :) yayayayayayayay.
Thats what i wanted :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2008|09:08 pm] |
okay time to vent.
I can't even begin to explain how excited i am for my new baby. But at the same time i have never felt so alone. I can't even talk to someone anymore with out them first looking at my stomach and at me like im an alien or something.I guess that's what you get when you bring a new life into the world. I went to the womens soccer game tonight and all the girls that i use to hang out with all the time always give me hugs now, while the guys i use to hang out just ignore me. Is it because they don't know how to react to it? and are the girls just feeling sorry for me that out of no where i get bombarded with hugs and affection? I just don't get it. The only place that is really comfortable is when im with Adam. But where and who do i go to for that comfort when hes at work? How come i can't find something to make me feel like im not the only girl at the age of 20, having her first child, attending school full-time, and is trying to just make the best of everything? All my old friends, well all my friends in general don't even call me anymore and when i run into them its "We need to go shopping!".."lets do lunch sometime" "i miss you!!". Too bad i haven't actually have hung out with ANYONE besides my family and Adam in the past 5 months. I guess over all yeah i am 20 and am having my first child and am young and still in school. I guess yeah it pays off if you're married then have kids. But why do i have to be alienated now when NOW is the time that i could use friends and the moral support? I don't mean to complain nor do i regret ever becoming pregnant to begin with. My baby is about 6.5 inches right now and takes up my whole heart. I couldn't be happier nor more proud of it already. I'm just throwing out this part of my experience out of all of this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2008|12:53 pm] |
So school is good, grades are good, work is good.
Baby is good. Moving around A LOT. We still do not know what we are having yet, but we'll find out on the 6th.
I'm more excited about knowing the sex more than i am for Christmas.
Adam is good. We just moved into our new condo this past week and that's been good.
We're going up to Ohio for Thanksgiving and our first Baby shower which we're excited for too.
All in all, life is good :) |
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| March 29, 2009 |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|12:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jon and kate plus 8 | ] |
i can honestly say that i've fallen in love. Something i haven't said nor thought would happen in the longest time. But i've found who i want to spend the rest of my life with and makes me happy beyond belief. Only 3 more years til it can be set in stone and i have no doubt that he's the one. Never thought out of everything i've been through, and all the guys i've been with i could diserve someone like him. But i have him and he isn't going anywhere. As amazing as our relationship has been so far i can't wait to see what more lies ahead. :)
And yes for all of you who love to still be intact with my life and every little detail that comes with it Adam and i are having a baby. Go ahead and throw out the "its about time something like that happens to her..." i don't care. Because i couldn't be happier that out of all the situations i've been in God chose for it to happen to me in THIS one, with THIS guy. i have no doubt that everything happens for a reason and even if there wasn't a baby involved i would love Adam just as much. I saw and heard my baby's heart beat for the first time yesterday and you would have NO idea how incredible it was. Brittany Cahan has grown up, she's known this since highschool and now she is starting a brand new life. It's been incredible how supportive my coaches and teammates have been and both Adam and my own family are really excited. :) Adam and i are getting our first house in December and the baby will be born march 29. (hopefully the 30th because my birthdays sept 30, and Adam's is nov 30th.) We can't wait to meet our Riley Addison Heine OR Aiden John Heine.
So all in all, please take a look and judge your own life first before judging someone else's. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2008|10:58 am] |
time to find out who my true friends are...
herreeee we goo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|01:12 pm] |
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4 more days until i see my baby then he's coming home with me for forever and ever :) |
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| Missy Higgins |
[Jun. 10th, 2008|11:34 am] |
Please, I know that we're different
We were one cell in the sea in the beginning
And what we're made of was all the same once
We're not that different after all
Nothing has really changed for me lately.
Right now life has been constant.
Class and then class again, then work to make 30 bucks if im lucky.
I need a new job as well as the time to work a new job.
I'm flying to Kentucky in 2 weeks to this day where Adam and I will be spending the week on Lake Cumberland in his parents Cabin. I'm not sure if i can wait, guess I'll have to. :] |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 28th, 2008|12:30 pm] |
Yay this semester if FINALLY over. I took my last exam today. :) This summer should be relaxing, so i hope..
Crew is over until September.
I may help out with a rowing camp this summer.
I start summer classes next week.
Karly is moving out of the Apartment tomorrow and is moving to Colorado.
Adam is moving in.
I am moving out in August and back in with my dad to save up some money.
I am working for Jax4kids now with Adam along with Pauly's so hopefully i will be making some money.
Then the fall traditional term starts back up where I'll be taking 6 classes.
Rowing starts back up with a never ending season.
And hopefully that is it.
:) |
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| A fine frenzy |
[Mar. 13th, 2008|04:32 pm] |
So i've had a hard time lately keeping up with this thing, i guess it really doesn't matter considering no one really reads it anymore. I think the only reason i keep it is because i've had one since maybe 9th grade and i like looking back at it, even 4 years later.
Anyways, a lot has gone on. Tucker came and stayed with me for 3 weeks which was a lot of fun and i good learning experience. Now he's gone and i miss him A LOT.
School could be a lot better, i am having a really hard time focusing because of just having a lot on my plate.
Im down to one job. Im cutting the University Diner off until i can get more time to spend working. Pauly's pizzeria opened where Angelos use to be and it is incredible. The people who work there are amazing and im making more money than i have in awhile.
Crew is pretty much my life now. I have never been more dedicated to ANYTHING ever until now. Practice 6 days a week 5:45 am is kind of tough but by the time we get off the water in the morning im pretty much ready for the day. We have our first spring regatta in Tampa saturday and we are leaving tomorrow at noon. Im really excited because the spring races are supposibly more intense then in the fall. Im only racing a 4 boat saturday but im stoked.
Anyways. that's basically the latest until next time i get around to updating.
Hope everyone is having a good day and take care<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2008|12:21 pm] |
Okay so i haven't written in here in a long time, but whatever no one really reads this anyways.
So Everything in my life right now is great, just really busy. It can be hard with 2 jobs, being a full time student, and an NCAA athlete. Its worth every minute of it all though.
Lets see what else..
I went to Jackson Hole Wyoming about 2 weeks ago randomly to visit tucker which that was AMAZING. i never thought i'd see him again and i got to. :)
ON TOP OF THAT- hes on his way here now!!! He should be getting into town around 1am tonight just in time for valentines which is what he wanted:). I flew there and now he's driving here and staying with me for about a month.. just long enough to go to my crew formal with me and I can honestly say that i don't think i've been this excited before ever. I just wish he didn't live across the country. Lord knows I'll miss him more than anything when he goes back home, im just thankful for being able to see him again 2ce. Patience is a virtue though and if you wait just long enough, everything does happen for a reason. I'm starting to really see that now. Okay, time to go clean my apartment up!
live love and grow<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2008|10:20 am] |
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“The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”- Mathew Flickstein |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2008|01:46 am] |
OMG. im flying out to idaho in 7 days to see tucker. I leave the 23-28 and i can't believe im actually going.
asdfghjkl;'!@$^@&%*&#% i seriously can't wait.
:D |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 28th, 2007|06:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | andy davis | ] |
So im in Naples Florida right now and i love it. It's so pretty and relaxing here...and i alex and i are leaving in the morning :(
Im excited for school to start. it's going to be wierd getting back in the swing of things with crew at 5am and a new class schedule. I think im most excited for the next class schedule as well as the traveling that'll come with crew.
its 3 days after christmas and its 85 degrees outside..that's not normal. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2007|04:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jon brown | ] |
i seriously love these girls.
things to look forward for this break:
-Christmas!!
-Kentucky trip with Amanda!!!!!!:D
-Gulf coast trip with Karly
-On your own work outs for crew : ]
I've been really happy lately because of an amazing group of people : ] |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2007|04:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Of montreal | ] |
Focuses include...studying, fitness, working, and keeping my head on the ground.
Have a backbone, not a wishbone. |
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